In October 2004, I asked all the former members of the band if they would fill out a questionnaire about their experience as a member of Pornflakes. I thought this would help me piece together a timeline of events. From the resulting responses, it would appear that the rest of the 'Flakes are as forgetful as I am. But here's their answers...

Charleigh Chadwick
Mark Harp
John Partridge
Miyuki Furtado
Stevie Miller


Name: Charleigh Chadwick
Birthday: 10/27/1960
Marital Status:
Children:
Employment:

Questionnaire:

1. What is your recollection of the events that lead to your joining Pornflakes? I remember Snackie calling me up to audition. The same night he also had a guy named (I think) Chick who told all kinds of stories about '70's rock and could sort of play. Snackie played Coffee and my part just sort of played itself on the bass.

2. Can you recall the year and month you joined the band? sometime before it got too cold in the early '90's

3. Can you recall the year and month you left the band?

4. Were you ever fired from the band? What were the circumstances?

5. Did you ever quit the band? What were the circumstances? I did quit the band, between work and two other musical projects touring was just too much. Fortunately, Barry was ready to take my place. I think my last show was at an outdoor event at Hopkins.

6. In your opinion, what was the band's greatest moment? Filling up a bus and taking it full of people up to New York and playing the Bond Street Cafe. But then again there was the weekend in North Carolina at the Mex-econo. Also recording the turn off that television demo in the freezing warehouse (I thought it was pretty cool). Then again playing on the big stage at SoWeBo and having the very large audience sound like a swoosh was probably the coolest.

7. In your opinion, what was the band's worst moment? Never playing Coffee again after it was aired on WHFS.

8. Name your favorite Pornflakes song(s). almost all of them, well, maybe not idiot...parasites? well it was fun to play

9. Name a Pornflakes song you don't like. Business (and we mean business)

10. Do you have a favorite memorable quote from a band member?

11. Do you have a funny Pornflakes' story you would like to share? One time we stopped at a McDonald's and I think Leonard ate $14 worth of food. Amazing, it was enough for like 5 people!

12. Are you currently in a band? The Pleasant Livers

13. Do you and or your band have a website? (List websites)

a. http://www.megaphonerecords.com/

14. Do you have a Bio? If you don't have a Bio, could you write one here?

15. Do you have any thoughts/input for the Pornflakes website? Lot's of samples and perhaps offers of discs for sale?

16. Is there anything else you would like to share or comment on in regard to your Pornflakes experience? I remember everything happening really fast. Seems like before we knew it we had 15 or 20 originals down and pretty together...

17. If you could do it all over again, would you? Definitely. Tomorrow, well maybe next week/year.


Name: MARK HARP
Birthday: 10/13/57 LIBRA
Marital Status: DIVORCED
Children: 0
Employment: A LITTLE THIS, A LITTLE THAT

Questionnaire:

1. What is your recollection of the events that lead to your joining Pornflakes?
Charlie asked if I could help with a Pornflakes recording session, using my sampler to throw samples and effects in. I agreed and had a session with the sampler and Snackie and I couldn't help but fall in love with the little feller. I also loved the songs so much that I asked to join the band as the sampler guy, doubling as the keyboard player. When Crash quit I tripled as the lead guitarist, sometimes triggering samples by hitting a key with the top of the guitar neck.

2. Can you recall the year and month you joined the band?
No, but around the recording of the TV cassette.

3. Can you recall the year and month you left the band?
No, but it was just after Charlie quit.

4. Were you ever fired from the band? What were the circumstances?
No.

5. Did you ever quit the band? What were the circumstances?
Yes, I quit after an argument with Snackie before a rehearsal at Hour House, and came back at the end to make sure it really died.

6. In your opinion, what was the band's greatest moment?

The New York Bus Trip (I have pictures!)

7. In your opinion, what was the band's worst moment?

A gig outside at Hopkins where we were almost completely ignored.

8. Name your favorite Pornflakes song(s).

Coffee, Together, Get With It, Hit It, Party Machine

9. Name a Pornflakes song you don't like.

Cry Cry Baby, Ultra Fast TV

10. Do you have a favorite memorable quote from a band member?

Ron Ray, outside of a bar in the middle of rural Pennsylvania, lying in a snowbank and moaning "Just leave me here, fellas. Just leave me here to die."

11. Do you have a funny Pornflakes' story you would like to share?
Yeah, the time when there was going to be a band photograph taken and Augie had some dental dilemma and his jaw and lower face swelled up until he became MONKEY BOY and in the picture he's got his face covered with a book or something.

12. Are you currently in a band?
Yes, 3.

13. Do you and or your band have a website? (List websites)

a. http://www.motormorons.com
b. http://www.chelseagraveyard.com
c. http://www.markharp.com
d. http://www.sixdollars.com
e. http://www.christmasstreet.com
f. http://www.thetralalas.com
g. http://www.thediamondheads.com
h. http://clarkbars.8m.com

14. Do you have a Bio? My whole website is sorta like my bio.
WHIZ, and Mold And Mildew through the 70's, Null Set and Cabal and The Casio Cowboys and The Casio Cats and The Beatoes through the 80's along with The Mark Harp All-Stars. The 90's featured IIA Theatre, Action Theater, Axis Theater, Mark Harp, The Mark Harp Band, Step 3, Interrobang, Pornflakes, Asshead, Super Pornflakes, The Muggers, Globetrotters, Motor Morons, Timmy, Corky Neidermayer, and the new decade brings The Diamondheads, Glasphalt, 700 Pound Boyfriend, The Tralalas, Chelsea Graveyard & The Screams At Midnight, Baltimore Shakespeare Festival, and the 24 Hours With Mark Harp online project. Mark writes and sings and plays guitar, bass, keyboards, and drums, and knows his way around his home computer recording setup.

15. Do you have any thoughts/input for the Pornflakes website?
Use lots of animated gifs and buttons!

16. Is there anything else you would like to share or comment on in regard to your Pornflakes experience?
We were the best band in Baltimore, Maryland, USA, The World! Nobody played that ersatz jump boogie woogie pop funk hard bop rock and roll instrumental folk surf rhythm and blues anti folk rhumba butter country and western blues rag punk light rap grey-green jazz covers oi latino hardcore samba pony water-based shing-a-ling bongo experimental lounge house classical salt shaker long haired gay soul quite the way that we did.

17. If you could do it all over again, would you?
And how!


Name: John Partridge
Birthday: 1969
Marital Status: married
Children: two
Employment: professor

Questionnaire:

1. What is your recollection of the events that lead to your joining Pornflakes?

I was working downtown at Café Manet on South Charles Street, around the corner from the 8x10. One night I came out and saw a poster advertising the need for a sax player, so I called. I guess you arranged to have me to a practice to sit in. You had Harp, Crash, Charlie, Ron Ray, Leonard, and Augie all crammed in Snackie's basement down in Highlandtown. The ceiling was too short for me to stand up in unless I put my head in between the floor joists. So most of the time I sat down. I don't think anybody told me I was in the band. But no one told me not to come back.

2. Can you recall the year and month you joined the band?

I think I joined the band in 1992, probably in the fall. Or maybe it was the Spring of 1993, but I think it was 1992. I think Harp was pretty new to the band, but I was definitely after him. Crash was in the band when I joined but left soon after. So I'm before Crash left and after Harp joined.

3. Can you recall the year and month you left the band?

I left when the band broke up.

4. Were you ever fired from the band? What were the circumstances?

Nope.

5. Did you ever quit the band? What were the circumstances?

Nope. But that damn tour out to Chicago nearly did it.

6. In your opinion, what was the band's greatest moment?

One great moment was our final gig. It was really a fun night all around and people were really appreciative. I was really proud to play at the Knitting Factory and CBGBs, though they weren't great nights. We had great shows at the Sowebo Fest. Another fun gig was opening for Jimmie's Chicken Shack at Hammerjack's. Man, the place was packed full of people-many of whom couldn't wait for us to get off the stage. But others dug it and I'd never playing in front of so many people before. It was probably more than 1000.

Maybe the greatest moment was getting that profile from that Rock show where we were interviewed in front of Memory Lane and filmed inside Chambers. It was cool to get some recognition and to see our goofy selves on TV.

7. In your opinion, what was the band's worst moment?

I guess one bad night was at the Electric Banana in Pittsburgh. Another time, in Syracuse, we played to an empty house and weren't paid. But it was in upstate New York when a derecho hit our campsite that we probably hit rock bottom. All our stuff got wet and promptly mildewed, the heat was so bad, over 100 degrees, that the van nearly overheated so we had to run the heat on high. By the time we got to Philly the bar didn't have us on their schedule; it was clear we had driven there all day for no reason. Our hotel was across the river in Jersey, I think, and there were cigarette burns all through the bathroom, the carpet was filthy, and you could rent rooms by the hour. I guess it's lucky we didn't break up right then.

8. Name your favorite Pornflakes song(s).

"The Virgin of Guadalupe (Denies Me Three Times)"-not really my favorite, but since it's the only song I wrote, I had to mention it. I like to think that the smooth tango lines inspired you to form the Swamis!

Other favorites:
Hot Potato, Love, Chocolate Cake, American Jew many, many more…

9. Name a Pornflakes song you don't like.

I grew tired of "Naked," after a while, but I really liked all the songs.

10. Do you have a favorite memorable quote from a band member?

11. Do you have a funny Pornflakes' story you would like to share?

Man, there's tons of stuff! But the all time funniest thing that happened to me occurred after a practice. We'd gone out to Rendezvous for some drinks and then Snackie drove me and Barry home. Barry lived in Sowebo at the time and was the first to get dropped off. As we came back on to MLK Blvd. heading north, I had moved up into the passenger seat and we were just cruising along, turning up on Howard Street near MICA when a cop pulled up behind us with the lights on. By the time Snackie stopped, two other cops had pulled up in front of us to box us in. Snack and I couldn't figure out what was going on. The next thing I saw was two more cop cars pull up and the cops in the first cars got out with their guns drawn, and they were screaming at us to get our hands up.

Well, I'd seen enough TV shows to know that you should raise your hands up right away. Meanwhile, Snackie was pretty pissed and was fishing for his wallet to get out his license. I was telling him to get his hands up when my door popped open and I was dragged out on Howard Street, face down, spread eagle. The cops kept yelling the whole time, "Where's the gun?! Where's the gun?!" and they keep yelling at Snackie to "Get Down! Get Down!" I had no idea what they were talking about but I was worried that Snackie was going to get himself in trouble because he kept yelling back at the cops. Soon enough they found the gun: Snackie's Cowboy Cap Gun that he used in some song. They also would have found the Sapatac trophy, several empty beer cans, a wig, Quacksie the Duck (Little Stevie's inflatable vinyl duck attached to a vacuum cleaner motor), and tons of other junk in the van.

It seems that someone saw Barry holding the gun while we were driving down to Sowebo and called the cops. I think Barry was just using it like a drumstick to lay down a beat on the dashboard, but because he was black, and the gun was shiny… well, someone got a different idea.

We got back into the car and went straight back to the Rendezvous, laughing the whole way because of our nerves. Looking back at it, I'm surprised they let us go so quickly. They must've been pretty jacked up to make arrests, but then they found two fools in a beat up van. Maybe it helped us that Snackie's hair was blue and that the van was full of junk that we used in the shows.

12. Are you currently in a band?

Nope.

13. Do you and or your band have a website? (List websites)

a.
b.
c.
d.

14. Do you have a Bio? If you don't have a Bio, could you write one here?


15. Do you have any thoughts/input for the Pornflakes website?

16. Is there anything else you would like to share or comment on in regard to your Pornflakes experience?

17. If you could do it all over again, would you?

Of course! It was fun and rewarding, and I really enjoyed the final lineup, with Little Stevie, Barry, Miyuki, you and Aug. I mean, every damn one of us was writing songs, and our catalog exploded. I really admired the musicianship all of you guys and it was a privilege to work together to create music and do shows. It will probably keep me from having to go through a mid-life crisis!

 


Name: Miyuki Furtado
Birthday: Sept. 25 / Zodiac Sign: Libra
Marital Status: Married
Children: 0
Employment: Musician/Deadbeat

Questionnaire:

1. What is your recollection of the events that lead to your joining Pornflakes?
Although I kept hearing about this legendary Snackie person for quite sometime, I finally met him at a party at my house sometime in the early 90's. At the end of the long, alcohol-soaked festivities and after I had kicked everyone out of my house, I finally adjourned to my room only to discover that Snackie had been passed out in my bed all along. I jumped right on to him unknowingly. That vaguely homoerotic sounding meeting was the beginning of what would be my long collaboration and friendship with Mr. Hillman for many years to come. Unfortunately, I can't remember exactly how I wormed my way into the group (first as percussionist then as guitarist). I can only say that he must have had a soft spot for the inept that led him to take on a beginner like myself into the fold of his very bizarre and eccentric, yet musically brilliant group.

2. Can you recall the year and month you joined the band?
I can't remember the exact date but I believe it may have been in 1992. My memory of that time in my life is a little hazy.

3. Can you recall the year and month you left the band?
Again, I don't remember the exact date bit I do recall that it was in the midst of a heatwave so I assume it was during the summer. The band, however, took many months to finally dissolve.

4. Were you ever fired from the band? What were the circumstances?
I'm sure I had been very close to being fired numerous times but I was there till the very end.

5. Did you ever quit the band? What were the circumstances?
I did quit. Actually, the entire band quit. The 'Flakes had been in the midst of a disastrous summer tour braving crippling heatwaves, flash tornadoes, bad food, foul body odors, a hastily purchased tour van with a dying transmission, no money, concert promoters threatening bodily harm to band members, among many other things. We had had enough by the time we reached Philadelphia when we were to play a crappy club whose promoter had skipped town. This left us in the lurch without a gig and with very little money in our collective pockets. There was a sort of mutiny and the band had unanimously agreed to call it a day (much to Snackie's chagrin). We should have known that there would have been trouble. The tour had an auspicious start when Snackie organized a yard sale/raffle to finance it. That being said, we did manage to have some incredibly fun times in spots.

Despite the events of that tour, however, it took several months for the band to actually break up because we still played quite often before finally having our last show at a former strip club for bikers called Memory Lane. It was quite an affair with a great deal of Baltimore coming out to pay their respects (as well hurl insults and chocolate cake at the band). Though bittersweet, it was a great way to end a unique legacy.

6. In your opinion, what was the band's greatest moment?
It would have to be when the band was invited to open for trendy (and crappy) funk-metal band, Jimmie's Chicken Shack at Baltimore's premier heavy metal music venue, Hammerjack's. We decided to dress up as leather loving hard rockers replete with S&M masks, tattoos and metal spikes. The only catch was that we opened the set with a few polka songs that we had been working on at the time.

The 900 person club was packed to capacity. The audience mainly consisted of rowdy, teenaged mosh pit enthusiasts and other assorted Budweiser-swilling alterna-jocks. When the Pornflakes took the stage, we pumped the crowd up by striking our best metal poses and screaming "Are you people ready to fucking rock??!!" After several minutes of posturing and receiving enthusiastic cheers, the band launched into "Hey Baba Reba" by polka legend Frank Yankovic. The cheering was replaced by blank stares and dropped jaws. It was then followed by loud booing and jeering which, in turn, was followed by objects being thrown at the band. This happened throughout the entire set. Demands from the audience that we get off the stage were met with a simple "no" from bassist Barry Hampton. The whole experience pretty much summed up the band's credo. Our finest moment indeed.

I have never been booed by so many people till this very day. I loved every minute of it.

7. In your opinion, what was the band's worst moment?
Some could argue that every moment of the band was it's worst moment. The point is that, for the most part, we didn't care. Some journalists considered us an irritating joke band. We have played some depressingly bad shows and may have even released some questionable records. We did it anyways and had fun throughout most of it. Even at the end of said disastrous tour, we still managed to have a great time. Especially on stage.

8. Name your favorite Pornflakes song(s).
There are many, many songs that I'm fond of. Here are a few that come to mind: 'Outlandish', 'It Sure Looks Different', 'Slap', 'Love', 'Tognar', 'Hot Potatoes', 'Leaving Now'.

9. Name a Pornflakes song you don't like.
Coffee. I fucking hate that song. Just kidding. If anything, I'm not that fond of the songs I wrote for the band ('Orange Coke', 'Dirt,' etc). I thought they were a little cheesy. Except 'Fistful of Spaghetti'. That song rules.

10. Do you have a favorite memorable quote from a band member?
I can't remember any off the top of my head. I did, however, recall this time when we were recording one of our records at our rehearsal space at the Hour Haus on four-track. Snackie was listening to the play back of a song we had just done on a pair of headphones. He was oblivious to the questions we were asking him and the jokes we were making at his expense. Then after several minutes of silence, Snackie looked up at the band and yelled "sounds good!!!" assuming that we could hear the deafening playback he was listening to.

11. Do you have a funny Pornflakes' story you would like to share?
They are too numerous to list here.

12. Are you currently in a band?
Yes. I'm in a group called The Rogers Sisters.

13. Do you and or your band have a website? (List websites)

a. http://www.therogerssisters.com
b. http://www.myspace.com/therogerssisters
c. http://www.myspace.com/miyukifurtado

14. Do you have a Bio? If you don't have a Bio, could you write one here?
I was born a poor black child.

15. Do you have any thoughts/input for the Pornflakes website?
Yes. Don't make a sucky one.

16. Is there anything else you would like to share or comment on in regard to your Pornflakes experience?
There are too many to list at this moment.

17. If you could do it all over again, would you?
I guess so. Actually, I would do it in a heartbeat.


Name: Steven Miller
Birthday: 1973
Marital Status:
Children:
Employment:

Questionnaire:

1. What is your recollection of the events that lead to your joining Pornflakes? I was walking down the street with my trombone case and this car pulled up. A guy shouted at me out the window, would I like to play in his band. I think it was Miyuki and Snackie in the car. They must have recently lost the original trombone player and so that is why the trombone case got their attention. Also around the same time I had a mutual friend who encouraged me to join.

2. Can you recall the year and month you joined the band? I think it was in 1994.

3. Can you recall the year and month you left the band?
I went down with the ship…

4. Were you ever fired from the band? What were the circumstances? Not fired, but I remember getting reprimanded at least once because I was going a little nuts with the cowbell during one of Snackie's tunes.

5. Did you ever quit the band? What were the circumstances?
Not exactly but I was missing for a time, because I was sick for about a month and also had a lot of stuff going on with school and whatnot. I showed up at a gig after I had been missing, and from that point on was a regular member.
6. In your opinion, what was the band's greatest moment? Of course it was the trombone taking the guitar solo on Purple Rain… Generally, I suppose the last few shows, when Harp was back in the band. There the instrumentation and personalities seemed most able to bring off the full range of possible buffoonery. I had bugged Snackie to pull out some of his older tunes and he finally relented during this period and started putting Hit It back on the set list.

7. In your opinion, what was the band's worst moment? Can't remember.

8. Name your favorite Pornflakes song(s). Without question, the best song Snackie ever wrote was Golden Years… after that, Hot Potato, Chopped Liver. Also, anything that was funny, surprising, or brief. Also the polkas.

9. Name a Pornflakes song you don't like. Some Things Never Seem To Change. I am still not sure if that tune was deliberately long and unchanging…

10. Do you have a favorite memorable quote from a band member? Can't remember. For some reason I have a lot of photos of Augie giving the finger with a deadpan expression. I have a good photo of him standing next to a cardboard cutout of Mike Ditka giving the finger. I seem to remember that Augie had a lot of perspective on things… I had a game with Johnnie P. where we would try to answer the question of what the P really stood for. The P stands for… Poppin' It, Pugnacious, etc.

11. Do you have a funny Pornflakes' story you would like to share? Not funny, necessarily, but this is what I remember: Snackie and Johnnie P. got pulled over by a hundred cops. One of them will have to tell that one… I seem to remember a lot of trouble with the van during the tour. A lot of waiting around while Snackie was messing with the coolant. It was in the middle of a hot summer, and the van was loaded up with all of this equipment, to the point where you could see the whole van sagging down in the rear from outside; plus there were the 6 of us in there. There was some gig we were supposed to play in Pennsylvania, some place where we had to drive completely out of the way and then backwards to get back to New York, and we found out the gig was cancelled when we got there. I think that was done on purpose-- Snackie was trying to create a sense of cohesion among the band members by giving us all something to be angry about. Our ensemble playing must have gotten much tighter after that... In Dayton, some curious audience members asked us if we were going to play jazz (we were booked at a jazz club), and so we said, Yeah, just wait a minute. I don't think they made it through more than 2 or 3 tunes before they gave up. They might have heard something jazzy if they had waited for a few numbers. In Kalamazoo, someone got caught out in a nasty storm in a tent that was collapsed. Maybe it was Barry. Required some daring rescue. It was like the A-Team, the way we rolled up in the van to get him out. Also, there was something funny about some rabbits in Kalamazoo... During one of the last gigs, I blew a fuse in the middle of a set at Memory Lane with one of my inflatable displays. It was powered by a vacuum cleaner. I plugged it in and all of the lights went out. The displays were a giant duck head and a baked potato with foil wrapped around it. The potato went up during the intro to Hot Potato, and the duck went up during Hit It. It was modeled after a plastic squeeze toy that was kept in the percussion crate for us horn players to pass the time during the tunes with no horn parts. (Not as bad as it sounds…) The recording session at Track in the Box- when we got to the session there was a keg in the middle of the listening room. I remember thinking that this must be how the pros do it… I remember there being some stiff competition among the band members to see who could sell the most raffle tickets. Was the raffle to raise money for the tour? Johnnie P. was the best at it. I can't remember what the prize was. There must have been something in it for the winner. A coworker of my sister was proud to call himself a fan of the "Corn Flakes". I don't remember seeing him at any of the gigs. He thought the name Corn Flakes was funny enough I guess. Also, I remember one day I found a dollar bill while roller skating down a hill…

12. Are you currently in a band?

13. Do you and or your band have a website? (List websites)

14. Do you have a Bio? If you don't have a Bio, could you write one here?

15. Do you have any thoughts/input for the Pornflakes website?
Is there a space for the audience members to share their thoughts? I asked my sister what she remembers the most about the shows and she mentioned the cake. My parents saw one show. They remember that there was a lot of cursing during the "Goddamn" song.

16. Is there anything else you would like to share or comment on in regard to your Pornflakes experience?
Thank you, Snackie for giving me the opportunity to be in the group. It motivated me to actually learn how to play, etc.

17. If you could do it all over again, would you?
Hell Yes!